Theory: Every year Balthazar infiltrates the Academy and forces them to pick someone else over Leonardo Dicaprio because he’s still mad about The Titanic.
that explains it
so i bumped into this kid i used to go to school with 3 years below me down at the train station today and i somehow managed to make him buy me a watermelon from the grocery store
but then i took it one step further and convinced him that we needed party hats
for both us and the watermelon
i’ve barely even spoken to this kid before in my life and he did exactly what i said without hesitation